Maybe Memories
by WP
Summary: Piper, Paige and Phoebe finally hav a long overdue talk.
1. Default Chapter

You should read two of my other fics, MorningStar and No one listens before reading this as hey both  
tie up.  
  
Maybe Memories  
  
  
Memories are what we're made of. The mix of good and bad. We learn from or bad memories, let  
them shape our beliefs, and its how we evolve. Our good memories give us the faith we need to go  
through life. But not always enough. We need the love and the support of friends, of family. We need  
those few people who don't need words to know how you are and listen to you whine, hold you while  
you cry and tell you assang jokes until they cheer you up. Cause someone should always know you  
better than you know yourself.   
  
But what if you are alone? Know one should have to go through that but most of us have at one time  
or another. Right? Well that's what this little tale is all about - not being alone anymore, but having  
to share your past. It's a difficult task to relieve mistakes, memories, and old wounds, yet we do it,  
cause sooner or later you find those people who love you and trust you and they need to know you,  
past as well as present.   
  
  
Piper held Paige close taking comfort in her steady breathing. Her little sister had fallen asleep on the  
sofa, after watching talk shows all morning. Piper had come through about 15 minutes ago and  
found Paige in the middle of a nightmare, so she donethe only thing she could- made Paige feel safe.  
  
The nightmare was probably more an old memory playing back. It'd been 3 weeks since Cole had  
taken and tortured Paige. She had only got out of the hospital yesterday with the promise she'd rest.  
  
  
Phoebe entered the manor after a morning at the office. She walked into the living room and saw  
Paige asleep in Piper's arms.  
  
"She ok?" Phoebe whispered.  
  
"Yeah, she was having a bad dream." Piper whispered back.  
  
Phoebe nodded concerned for Paige. She silently left to go make some tea.  
  
  
Paige woke up thinking it was strange she was in someone's arms. She was relieved to find it was  
Piper, "sure you've got the time to be sitting around like this?" She asked with a cheeky smile.  
  
Piper started to untangle herself from Paige, "well, you know if you don't want me..."  
  
Paige gripped onto Piper, "didn't say that, did I?"  
  
Piper grinned and relaxed again, "you really had me going that time, Paige." she said sarcastically.  
  
"Hey! Cut the injured person some slack here!" she joked.  
  
"I'm sorry Leo can't heal you honey." Piper said genuinely.  
  
Paige waved it off. "It's not his fault. The elders are right. I can't go from the critical list to perfectly  
fine. The doctors would never believe it. We could get exposed."  
  
"I know, but I'd prefer you at full health."  
  
"Yeah, I guess I'm going to be useless if a demon attacks."  
  
Piper frowned, "I didn't mean that, we'd cope if a demon came, even though they are probably going  
to leave us alone for a while. I just meant so you don't have to be in any pain. You put on a brave  
face but I can see how uncomfortable you get."  
  
Paige shrugged, "so it does get annoying with the stiches and cast itching like hell but I guess I'm  
happy enough being alive... and with you guys."  
  
Piper felt her heart tug, "you have us now and you will forever. We're never letting you go." she  
pulled Paige closer.  
  
"There was a time when I didn't have anyone."   
  
Piper waited to see where Paige was going.  
  
"Piper, before I woke, from the coma, I remember hearing you. Just little things and you said we  
could learn about each. I want that, I need to tell you who I am and how I got to where I am. And  
I'd like to know you and Pheebs better too."  
  
Piper nodded, "I understand. I need that too." She kissed Paige on the head. "I'm going to tell  
Phoebe, then we can talk." 


	2. Paige

Sorry it took so long my comp has been broke for the last week. And thanks for the good reviews  
and...well the Cole lubbers who gave the usual "it isn't Cole's fault he continuously tries to kill a  
charmed one' I thank u too cause u gave me some very good laughs. Its amazing how u all sound a  
like. Must b something in the lack of brain capacity.  
  
Part 2  
  
Piper and Paige sat on the sofa, while Phoebe sat across from them. The were all hoping someone  
else would talk first. Paige finally gave in to the silence, "how about I start... from the beginning."  
  
Piper put her hand on Paige's, "we're listening, honey."  
  
Paige took a deep breath, "well, I was never angry about being adopted, my parents were exactly  
that. I was a bit rebellious in high school."  
  
Piper couldn't help smirking at the irony, "like most Halliwell's."  
  
Paige looked at Piper, "you were rebellious?"  
  
"Uh...you'll here all about that later."  
  
Phoebe got a shiver, knowing what Piper meant.  
  
"Ok, Paige on you go." Piper said so know more questions were asked.  
  
Paige looked confused and worried at once. "Ok... so you know after my parents died, I believed it  
was my fault."   
  
They each nodded.  
  
"Well, I always told myself I'd look for my biological parents if anything like that happened. So I did.  
But when I searched the name I got old newspaper articles as well. I found out she was dead. And  
my father wasn't mentioned. You two and Prue were though."  
  
"Paige, why didn't you ever contact us?" Piper asked.  
  
"I... I was too scared. When I found out mum was dead, I thought I deserved to be alone. I had just  
lost 4 parents in one wekk, Piper. I believed it was a sigh. How would you feel! I was alone!"  
  
Piper quickly pulled Paige in and hugged her tight. "I know, I'm so sorry. If we knew about you, you  
would have been home a long time ago."  
  
Phoebe came over and sat on the other side of Paige. "Piper's right, there's nothing I would have  
liked more. You might have left again though. Prue was unbearably controlling, Piper was... well  
you'll hear and I was just a bitch. Phoebe said trying to lighten the mood some.  
  
Paige borke her hug with Piper and looked at Phoebe, "I wouldn't have minded. Anyway you'd have  
the new alcoholic sister to deal with as well." Paige half sniffled and laughed.  
  
Everyone settled back down and Paige started where she left off."After that I went to stay at Glenn's  
place. He was really great, he'd just sit with me, listen to me. But about a week after their funeral's,  
I started having panic attacks. I'd have these vivid flashbacks. At first I thought I was having a heart  
attack. They went on for about 3 weeks until it just got too much. I wouldn't leave my room, I  
couldn't sleep because all I'd see was my parents being killed, over and over."   
  
Paige wiped her eyes and took a few breaths to steady her voice.  
  
"I just ignored everything around me. I was on auto-pilot. Glenn done everything he could but... I  
was too far gone, I just didn't listen. I started mixing sleeping pills and alcohol, it'd keep me out for  
hours. Glenn, god I was so awful to him. He gets quiet when he's upset, so when he was begging me  
to snap out of it, I'd really mean and say things that weren't true. He'd just get so upset all he could  
say was 'I'm sorry'. He was blaming himself. But I was just too cold hearted to let it get to me. One  
day he went psycho. He just started screaming at me, telling me to stop doing this to myself, that he  
loved me and I needed to let him help. Instead of letting him be my best friend I told him to fuck off,  
packed my stuff and moved into the cheapest motel with a bottle of vodka."  
  
Paige put her head in her hands, failing to hold back tears. Her big sisters just comforted her silently  
as she continued.  
  
"I used to drink in that poxy motel room until I started going to bars every other night. The next  
year is one big blur. I woke up in hospital a few times, someone would find me passed out and call  
an ambulance, they'd punp my stomach and give me the usual spiel, but one time I almost died. I  
passed out in some street and I almost choked on my own vomit.and that was a reality check. I uh..  
I locked myself in my room with food and water and I dried up. It was hard, really hard but I stayed  
sober for nearly a month then the anniversary of my parents death came. I went out, I don't even  
know what I drank but I drank a lot of it. I ended up with alcohol poisoning. I was in for a hospital  
for a week and they offered me help. I started going to the shrink. He really helped although I wasn't  
that big on telling some stranger my screwed up life story."   
  
Piper handed out the tissues out, "It's horrible but you do it and feel better for it, huh?"  
  
Paige nodded, starting to think Piper maybe did know what she was talking about.  
  
"Yeah, it's a weird mix but they help a lot. He got me into the AA and I started college. I wanted to  
help people."  
  
All 3 sisterss sat sniffing and shedding tears then found themselfs in a group hug.   
  
"I'm so sorry you had to go though all that alone." Phoebe told her newly found baby sister.  
  
Piper kissed Paige's head, "you're strong Paige, stronger than a lost of peple to be the good person  
you are today."  
  
Paige cried harder, "Don't leave me alone again, I couldn't take that."  
  
Her big sister's whispered promises of never being alone again and she truly believed them. 


	3. Piper

Part 3  
  
Piper, Phoebe and Paige sat close together with a blanket wrapped round them. They were in silence  
just enjoying the closeness.  
  
"Piper?"  
  
"Yes, baby sis?" Piper said smiling at Paige.  
  
"What's the story you have to tell me?"  
  
Piper's face dropped.   
  
Phoebe looked at Piper, "can you do this?"  
  
Piper nodded, "Paige told us her story, she needs to know mine."  
  
Paige looked back and forth between her sisters, "You're really starting to worry me."  
  
Piper took a deep breath, she was terrified. She had only ever told Phoebe about her darkest times,  
even then Prue had told most of it.   
  
Phoebe squeezed Piper's handin a small gesture of support.   
  
"Piper, if you don't want to or can't tell me then that's ok, you know."  
  
"No, I want to and will. I've just never talked about it before, except for telling Phoebe... but I wasn't  
the one talking."  
  
Paige looked confused, "wouldn't Phoebe already know?"  
  
Piper sighed, "I need to start from the beginning."  
  
Her little sisters nodded.  
  
"When I was about 16, I was a geek, didn't have any friends. I felt invisible. I spent so much time  
alone in my room I believed I was truly alone and I started to doubt Prue and Phoebe loved me. I  
guess I was just really depressed, I couldn't take dealing with everything that happened in my life,  
so I uh... I was ready to kill myself. I almost did, had the knife at my wrist. Then someone took it  
from me. It was Prue, she held me and made me feel loved again."  
  
Piper wiped at her eyes, composing herself so she could go on.  
  
Paige put her head on Piper's shoulder and her arm across her waist. She never thought Piper would  
come so close to taking her own life. To Paige she seemed the strong, sensible and stable one but  
realised that was just naive of her.   
  
Piper rested her head on top of Paige's. "I made Prue promise not to tell anyone, especially Pheebs.  
And she didn't. She helped me, was there for me more than ever. I guess I moved on and managed  
better."   
  
"But then grams died and I barely survived the funeral. When we got home, Phoebe left for New  
York and Prue, she didn't deal, she just pretended it wasn't real and went to Rodger's. I thought that  
was it, Prue and Phoebe both left. I was alone and really upset. Felt like everyone I had was gone.  
Everything was just getting worse. So I took a knife and I pressed down. I opened up both my  
wrists. I wasn't as scared as I thought I'd be, it was easy, too easy."  
  
"Prue had gotten half way to Roger's and turned back, not soon enough though. She found me in my  
room. Passed out and bleeding to death. I woke up the next day in a hospital room with Prue at my  
side looking mortified. Everything came back to me at once, I felt so guilty and angry. I wasn't sure  
if I was glad to be alive or not."  
  
"I blocked myself off from Prue, didn't talk at all but when she would show any sign of leaving I'd  
panic. I kept thinking she'd leave me alone again. I didn't want to be alone. I thought my own mind  
would go on and on so much I'd faint. It was confining me, I couldn't breath."  
  
Piper's body shook with sobs. She'd never spoke in so much detail and it was difficult.  
  
Phoebe put her arm around Piper and gave her silent support, mainly because she didn't trust her  
voice.  
  
Paige was in shock, she couldn't believe Piper had ever felt so bad and so alone that she tried to kill  
herself. She subconsciously cuddled closer to Piper.  
  
"Prue broke after a few days, she shouted at me like she would Phoebe. That was when I knew I had  
to talk. I locked myself in my room then Prue came up. I wouldn't answer at first and I think she  
thought I was trying to kill myself again, so she told me how she felt and how sorry she was, I finally  
let her and I broke down."  
  
"I had to go to the psychiatrist 3 times a week but I was still so shy then so Prue would come in with  
me, I don't think I would have survived without her. I know I wouldn't have." Piper cried ashamed of  
everything she done and the fact Prue was gone.  
  
Phoebe picked up the end for Piper, "I only found all this out 2 years ago because I accidently  
opened a letter from the hospital about her annual check up. So they had to tell me everything."  
Phoebe explained.  
  
Paige couldn't believe Phoebe didn't know, I mean Phoebe and Paige didn't have secrets or so she  
thought. She found herself looking at Piper's wrists.  
  
"You can hardly see them, It's why I got the tattoo's." came Piper's soft voice.  
  
Paige looked harder and saw the end of Piper's scars. She turned and wrapped her good arm round  
Piper's neck.   
  
"I love you, I'm glad you didn't succeed."  
  
Piper hugged back, "me too Paige, me too."  
  
"Maybe, if we had known each other from the start neither of us would have been alone."  
  
"Maybe, but we got through it and we all have each other now. That's all that matter's."  
  
  
There we have it, memories. They completely break us down, show our vulnerability and tell our  
weaknesses. Also let us bond cause you're saying, 'I trust you and I believe you'll understand, so  
here's my story.'   
Because we all have a story and everyone is important. Hate your story, be ashamed, embarrassed,  
angry about it but whatever you do, don't ignore it. It invented you, the great person you are today  
or will be tomorrow. But just remember you can't be anything without yesterday. 


End file.
